It's....alive.....alive !!!

Oh no way.
I haven't blogged since April 11th? Holy crap.
Oh, man....I am soo totally sorry. Seems like, since I've been down with all this crap,
that I'm always apologizing to someone,
& it's usually because this auto-immune disorder RULES my life. *Sigh*

It's been a great month though, (not healthwise:( exactly, but 4 people from
my past, contacted me, we all had a blast RE-connecting...it felt soo good.
It felt like home...to hear from people that still remember me, lol.

But....there's a catch. Isnt there always?
What they remember is different than what they will get ...
Now.

YannO, I compare it to Sobriety for those that dont understand,
what its like to live with an Auto Immune Disorder. One Day at a Time.
i.e. I woke up this morning after only 4 hours of sleep, and my fingers hurt soo bad,
I couldn't even move my hands without intense pain. The soles of my feet too.It was truly unreal. Usually its my LARGE extremities that are hit, but this time....very weird.
Then when your in the sort of pain that goes along with all this illness,you dont sleep.
When you dont sleep, your tired. When your tired, your bitchy. When your bitchy, you can blame it on not sleeping. When you dont sleep, your tired AND bitchy....then your resistance is down. Your immunity to sickness lowers and BAM.

Your sick again.
Not you, but me...why am I writing in 2nd person, lol..

For those that asked (thankyou) the swelling in my ankles has gone down.
I still cannot wear my Nike's, but I throw my lime green crocs on and they fit my fat lil' feet.
My ankles are sexy....oh yes....So Sexy...you know it.!
The doctor didnt find any humor in how sexy the tire around my ankles looked, so he put me
on Lasix. Have YOU ever been on Lasix? Um, ya......might as well just stay home, cuz
your chained to the Toilet....peeing your brains out.

You would think after I peed my brains OUT, I'd lose like 99 pounds or so.
Um, yaa-a-a-a-a....no such luck. Pfffttt... Whatever.
Wasn't gonna attach a pic, but isnt my ankle, just sexy? You know you want
ankles like this....dont deny it, lol.....
Soo, as you can see, and this was on a GOOD day, I would not be able to lace up my sneakers, lol.
But it is finally better, after 3 long weeks...
They put me on anti-seizure medication, to help with the chronic pain.

Who knew! Anti -Seizure meds helps people that live with chronic pain & illness.
Wish me luck, this next week. My Rheumatolgist sent me to the Neurologist for EMG's on both legs. Can we all say "UGH"

On an ending note....
It's been a long road....and the road ahead is VERY long....somedays I'm up for the challenges that lay ahead of me, and other days, I just want to call it quits. I know you can relate.

But for today....I'm NO quitter...and anyway, I have soo many beads and joolz, made into jewelry that I need to share with you. My head is SPINNING with ideas!!!
Hugs to all....
And it wont be no month, before I blog again!
Seriously....stay tuned....this involves hand dyed Silk Ribbons, GLORIOUS colors, Beachy
Beads, with lots of fun sterling beach themed charms to dangle along with Seahorses, and fun summery colors!

Ya'll C'mon back now, ya hear?

You know those bratwurst sausage like things??

Um, ya. That would be my feet right now.
I must warn you now. I am NOT in the greatest of moods.
Read on, at your own risk, you've been warned.

I do not accept any responsibility of how you'll feel when your done reading my BS

So Gary and I spent almost 4 hours in the Emergency Room last night.
My feet have swollen to Ripley's Believe it or Not proportions.
Yes, your right. They look gross. I do NOT enjoy having bratwurst for feet.
Now, don't do that. Don't say, "Oh Lori, it could always be worse" kind of chastising.

I know that already, and surprisingly to all, It COULD be worse. Oh hell yes, it could.

Snap, Snap: Back to bratwurst & sausage like images.

The doctors cannot figure out WHY on earth I've gained 11 pounds in ONE week.
35 pounds in 6 weeks. Thank the good Lord, that I'm tall....whew, *wipes sweat off brow*
They took me off the Cymbalta, it wasnt really working anyhow....
Im in constant pain daily. Its really hard on your body , your emotions and your psyche to
feel like chit every day.

Its sorta like having the flu every day when you have Lupus and/or Fibromyalgia.

I know alot of people who have what I have, can relate.
I guess the key is LEARNING how to live in a new body that doesnt function like it used to.
Learning that you cannot make plans, because any moment you can get a flare up, and end up in bed or on the couch for a week at a time.

Talk about being productive, lol.....oh yah, that would be me.

The ER Doc, asked me last night if I was working.
I said, yes, but at home and on my torch. I told him, if I had a job outside my house, I'd be
fired. Oh yah, fired, lol....and probably quickly.
They tell me Im eligible for Disability, but I dont want to go that route.
I want to sculpt again and survive on my Art.

Art is my passion.
Art is the knot in my brain that never comes untied.
Its a part of my blood, a part of my soul.
I will be an Artist even if I'm not sculpting right now.....I will be an Artist no matter WHAT
I do, or if I cant do it for another year.

Nothing is imPOSSUMable.....(* see post below this one with the Possum*)
Now that I got my complaining out of my way, I'm going to take some more
Lasix so I can pee my brains out all day.

What fun.
I just cant wait, can you?