July 6, 2010


I know, I know, its time for sleep once again, but I cant sleep until I get this dream out of my head.
With all this new medication I have to take, and with the introduction of a new drug (spinal cord injuries & MS) I was having night terrors.

Medication induced night terrors.
No, let me rephrase that, night HORRORS.
How can the human mind even dream such fright, let alone think it?
I was waking up really shaken, sweating, afraid and nervous.
I had to stop the new drug, I just couldnt handle any more nights like that.

But last night....Last night, was the first dream that had been kind to me in quite some time. I either have medication induced nightmares or no dreams at all. Lest I remember.

But last night was about my Grandmother (who has since passed)
It was soo real. If your dreams are of the NON-horror species, then real is ok, lol. This one was the 'reach out and touch someone' kind.
If I coulda just reached my fingers out just a millimeter more,
If I coulda just reached further, I could have touched her.
She was right there. I could see her skin, I could see my own reflection in the blue of her eyes.

And oh my were they ever blue.
Her blue eyes were passed onto my son, and not just the typical blue, its the "wow, your eyes are SOO blue, blue!"
*Sighs*...oh yes, he got the baby blues.
My grandma was sweet, she was kind, and some of my fondest childhood memories come from Grandmas house.

I woke up feeling peaceful and remembered how kind dreams can be.
They have the power to really shake you up or remind you of memories past...
If only I could have reached a little bit further to touch her,
I know she was there. I could smell the gentle sweetness of her skin, and feel her love for me as she walked away, to only become, hopefully another dream.

Only this time, I hope to touch her and be reminded that love is only a thought away. Sometimes we can touch the feeling, and sometimes we cant...Either way, it feels soo good to be loved.
Oh, how she is missed....

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