Instant Sciatica.....

This one was soo much worse than the 1st one;(

He injected new areas, without warning. Stab, poke...stab.....Surprise!
By the time he was moving the catheter around in the right side of my back, I had an INSTANT case of SCIATICA.
Holy hell I hurt....

Rainbows inspire hope.....right?

They say rainbows inspire hope. That somewhere over the rainbow is a pot of gold.

Well, I make lots of rainbows & I've yet to find a pot of gold OR a little irish man....pfftt...

So tomorrow it happens again. Yes, that.


(Transforaminal Nerve Blocks) I get to lay belly down on the hospital table, with my pants pulled down right below my butt crack and wait on the doctor. Yes, like that.

When I mentioned it, he told me that he could identify people by their backsides, better than their faces.....

WOW...he did NOT just go there. Oh yes he did...lol.

-I hate the whole sedated-drooling-on-my-couch-look.

-I hate the whole needle into the spine gig. I really hate that.

-I hate how it feels like my spine is on fire.

-I like how cool the ultrasound gelly is....& I like the turquoisey-minty blue color it comes in. Think if I take the bottle, they'll notice?

-I also like the blue color dye they inject into my spine...its pretty.

Are you all sensing some blue beads coming up? Oh, you know me too well, dont you? And yes, BLUE is my favorite color...

-oh, oh, and I hate when the anesthetic wears off and my ass starts to hurt....ALL weekend.

- I hate the fact that I'll lose about 2-3 days after the procedure.

- I like the fact that it gives my girls & I lots of MOVIE time....which reminds me, Couples Retreat is on the list to watch. Have any of you seen that? Seriously, Vince Vaughn makes my heart laugh.

I would marry Vince if I knew him. But I dont. He still makes me laugh.

They say laughter is good for the soul...
Hard to remember when your in alot of pain, but I know I have soo many friends that pick me up on the dreariest of days. Days like tomorrow...

Thank you to all those friends.

Knock Knock Mr. Reaper....

Knock Knock...Mr. Reaper...I know your out there. Its almost 3am, and I can sense your presence....is that what almost 3 years of insomnia does to a person? Makes them think things, they typically would not?

Sorry for walking on the dark side tonite, I cant shit rainbows everyday. Although, there may be some new rainbows up tomorrow if your good....and if Mr. Reaper keeps his distance from me. He tends to linger when my pain receptors start to go off the chart. When I cant feel my legs and there are pins & needles being stuck in my foot, then the damn tremors shake me all up in my goodys!!

Its officially 2:59 am, and I promised myself I'd hit the sack at 3, do or die. I guess we'll find out, wont we?
Stay tuned in .......it'll get goooooooooooooooooooooooood

From Rainbows to Dark Storms....

They say you gotta put up with the rain to get the rainbow...
Somehow it just doesn't seem fair...I guess God never said life would be fair.

We do the best we can do, thats all we can ask of ourselves...

I have such a busy week coming up and with HUGE upcoming results.
I keep saying it wont change my life...but we all convince ourselves of what we want to hear.
They say to never step on someones hope, as it may be all they have.
I believe that.....
Wish me luck.

I smell CABBAGE!!!

I smell cab-b-bage!!
*chuckles.......*
mmmm....yummy.
Its a good thing, a very good thing....
I cant remember a time that I havent made a homemade Jiggs Dinner on Cabbage Day. (a.k.a. St. Patty's Day)...Its become standard practice. Its just how we do things every St. Pattys Day, here in The Nicolls Household. And its not like there are rules that say you aren't allowed to cook Corn beef & Cabbage any other day of the year...There are no Irish Cabbage Police stopping me, or fines for cooking it the other 364 days.....

I also make gallons of green kool-aid. Its tradition. I know most people run out to the Pub & get green beer, but not me. Green Kool-Aid for me is my green beer...and it rocks. Kool-Aid rocks. Any color, but on St. Pats Day its green sugary goodness.....
(no, Im not getting paid to say that, but I should be, right? lol.......)


Wait. Hold up...there are more cabbage sniffers here than just me. There's a curious nose in the cabbage and I think she's as anxious for dinner as we all are.

I heart a homemade Jiggs Dinner, it makes my pulse skip a beat. It makes St. Pats Day a truly wonderful tradition in my family.

And I can honestly say I cook an amazing Jiggs Dinner...its what I do...
Its what my kids look forward to every year. And in order to eat my Jiggs Dinner, you MUST come wearing green....and you must enjoy the smell of cabbage.......now THAT's a rule!! ;)

Dreaming in color........

I dreamt in color last night. Soo many ideas and creative thoughts that had been suppressed because of the back pain...
Ohh, the pain-n-n-n...
Pain is such a demon....

Is my creative muse back?
It has to be...I dreamt in color last night.

It means something...we will see what that something is....

By the Hare of his Chinney Chin Chin........

When God handed out smiles almost 21 years ago, he thought of me.
Not everyone gets a chance to laugh almost every day for 21 years,
but I have.

I was nominated to be lucky enough to know my son.
To know Tim is to love Tim.
You cant help it...even though I've almost strangled
the boy and skinned him by the "hare" of his chinney chin chin...
He has managed to make me smile for over 2 decades.
I dont know how I got soo lucky, but I am truly & eternally blessed.

I was blessed x3 with all my punks.
Me thinks I am the luckiest Mom on Planet Earth.
So, If you ever get down or somehow find yourself
blue, just look at Tim in Bunny Ears and I'm sure a smile will
find its way to you too.
Count your blessings even if they come disguised ....

As rabbits ;)

Haleighs 14th Birthday........

My youngest punk turned 14 on Saturday....

I cannot believe my baby is 14. She had a totally great birthday
(pics to come) & my oldest punk turns 21 in April....*gasps*

It seems the older my punks turn, the younger I get...Ok, ok, so Im getting older, but I stopped counting this year at 39.

'Your only as old as you feel' they say....the problem is, mentally I feel 29, physically I feel 99...
But were getting that fixed...so, watch out world, here I come.............

Epidurals & herniated discs......

Im soo sorry to my blog readers, that I've been MIA.
As most of you may know, my MRI results were NOT positive.
I guess that explains all the pain.....WOW...

Ive got herniated & bulging discs from S1-L5....w/joint degeneration.
SEVERE neural foraminal narrowing on the right side, and abnormal cord signals. The nerve damage is starting to progress on the left side as well.....*Big heavy sigh*

The doctor withdrew a pocket of infection from my right hip last week, and they can NOT get a reflex from the rt. leg anymore.
The signal from my brain to my spinal cord to the leg is a little confused, sending the wrong signals. Its very frustrating.
Its soo weird to sit on the edge of the table, and watch them try to get a reflex, and the leg just sits there like a fish out of water....ugh.
So, my days are beginning to consist of Neurologists & Anesthesiologists.....

They are going to do a series of 3 Epidurals into my Spine & we will be discussing surgical options in the next few weeks. Im really hoping the Epidurals will help ease the nerve pain, and I can get back to life as normal.

Ive thought of all my readers often, I just cant sit or stand in any one position for long, so it really affects what Im able to do.
I am hopeful the epidurals will work, and the surgery will be effective.
Thank you to all who are soo devoted to The BeedzNest Blog.
Your prayers & positive vibes are soo appreciated during this difficult time.

Mother Nature Dumps....

Mother Nature Dumped and IS Dumping, lots of the fluffy white stuff today!! Which translates to no school and not having to come up with good excuses as to why you never got dressed today.
I love pajama day and Mother Nature definately came thru.

Did you know that if you peer thru frozen ice droplets, they magnify their surroundings? I guess its sort of like reflecting, you never know what you might see or find. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. But always interesting....
Mother Nature is the perfect Storm.....

Unless She dumps 100ft. of snow, like She is today. But I love snow.

I really love snow. Unless Im forced to dig my car out, well, then I really love snow. And pajama day translates to leaving the car snowed in.

Speaking of dumping & Mother Nature, this chair is taking an Icicle Dump, how funny is that?

I know, I know...."Only YOU would notice something like that." Gives more meaning to Mother Nature DUMPING doesnt it?