Happy Merry Ho Ho Ho

I cant believe its Christmas 2009.
And in One year, O months, O days, it will be Christmas again. And you know how fast that goes.
But here I am using the word 'Twas' .....
Heeheeeee....Twas....

Twas the Night before Christmas, and all thru the house, not a creature was stirring (except the dog), not even a mouse.

(There better NOT be mice around here, eeek!)
My stockings were hung by the chimney with care (I dont have a chimney, shut up!) In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be here.....(Well.....Hello fat man in the red suit, may I sit on thee lap? wink*wink)
The teenagers were nestled all snug in their beds, with threats of punishment to shut OFF the Ipods, dancing thru their heads.

Momma (I think thats me) in her kerchef and I in my cap
(wait, wait, thats me)

had just settled down for a long winters nap. (Who does that anyway?)
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see which drunken neighbor had caused the matter.

Away to the window, I flew like a flash (I really dont move that fast, I'll pull a muscle or something traumatic), tore open the shutters & threw up the sash. (WTH is a sash?)
When what to my wondering eyes should appear?
(And, no............................... I have NOT started drinking. Yet.)
But a miniature sleigh & 8 tiny reindeer.

With a lil ol' driver, so lively & quick, I knew in a moment it had to be
St. Nick. (Alright, enough, now.
Where is the lemon & salt, with that tequila I asked for?)

Ok, ok, I'll stop....lol....please dont beg.

Christmas really IS my favorite time of year....
A time for feasting, giving, receiving, believing and magic.

Theres always a magical quality in the air around this time, I do love that. I especially love how my 20 year old son, shoddily wrapped Christmas gifts this year.

He tried to STAPLE the gift bags closed. Ahh....yes. yes.

I just smiled and reminded myself, this is why men and women are NOT created equal.
Just watch a man try to wrap gifts.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night!

Vampires & Lungs...........

What do you get when you cross a
Vampire with Pneumonia?
My daughters, Haleigh and Lauren...

Ok, ok...allow me to back up, because this is so NOT making sense right?

Lauren has a bad patch on her left lung that loves to go into pneumonia.
Why? Because it can, I spose. Why else? To make our lives hell, who knows.....because life cant be easy. Because God said..."Let there be hell on earth"....I dont know, I dont have all the answers, sheesh!

So, we are back to the doctor, I think I just need to bring my bed next time, with me. Set it up in the back. Would that be strange?

Antibiotics, steroids, breathing treatments if this cant get a hold on itself...Poor Lauren :(

Then God spoke and She said, "I shall turneth Haleigh into a pale
ghost- like phantom-apparition"

Poof! Done. Your wish is granted.
Ok, ok, so it didnt really go like that, but the child is pale. Phantom like.

White. Ok, ok, we all know she's white, but THIS white? Geez.

And THIS tired? Whats wrong with you child? You should be full of rum & liquor, I mean vim & vigor....well. You. Know. What. I. Mean.

So, I drag her butt back into the doctor (and, why didnt I bring my bed? *scratches head*) Well, see....she's got this eensy weensy itty bitty tinesy winsey hole in her heart. Its not a HUGE deal, but its enough of a deal, to not allow the blood flow from her heart to her brain when she stands, and well.....thump. There she goes. She blacks out. Syncope.
She'll outgrow it.

In the interim, it makes her funky.

Describe funky. Well, funky is this pale, ghost, phantom like child that tires easy and is losing months of her childhood.

Its not fair, I scream, its not fair ! ! !

Ohh, shut up Lori, who on earth told you life would EVER be fair?

Its almost like one big fat joke. But if lifes a joke, I sure DONT get it, do you?

I know, I know, stop torturing yourself, Lori.

Life will do it FOR YOU....

Ok, ok, I know I know. Something positive you say...
Start living with the glass half full, blah blah blah....
But honestly, life really is like a trampoline........

A cement trampoline.

The End.

We've survived the F L U ........

We did it. We survived the I-N-F-L-U-E-N-Z-A.....
Shhh, dont say it too loudly, it might come back. (knocks on wood)....what seems like an eternity, and well, wasssss *hiss*....we were down over a month with the stupid stuff. Its nasty, dont let it fool you.....



And to think of all that time, I spent sanitizing prior...doorknobs, bannisters, lightswitches, other people....
Ok, ok, so Im a bit obsessive, Ive never said I'm not...but all that time Lysol-ing and disinfecting, for what?
A more powerful bug? A smarter wiser, "I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" anyway, bug? Ok, ok, so the dog didnt get it.

As for the baby? I made her.
Not literally, I mean....I did. I mean, well....you know what I mean.
She'll be on eBay later....I think she's the only one in the house that escaped "the bug".....thank God. At least someone did!

I'll be back with the link later.... (Im back, click on pic)
Dont let my flu-bug-incessantly-whining-pathetic-poor-me-post scare you off....wait.....dont go......hold on....were healthy now, I swear.
I wont sanitize anymore, I promise .....at least not the lightswitches.
Ok, ok, not the doorhandles either...and not the dog. I wont do it, I promise.....The OCD is getting better, I swear..........
*Grabs can of Lysol & sprays................*

Flu Bug

We've had the Flu-Bug for a month now.
Thats all I have to say bout' that.

Mak'n Babies.......

I am PUBLISHED in Discover Dolls Magazine!

This is such an exciting opportunity....and actually the 2nd time I've had a magazine article come out, but they did a fan-tabulous job, I love their color choices and everything just melds soo nicely......

As for the cutie on your left in pink, If I had to pick a doll that I've made to be an all time fav....I'd pick this beauty.....

Its amazing to be able to pick up a bar of Polymer Clay and create a
life-like infant....I look forward to my next doll reproduced into Vinyl, so many Doll Collectors can enjoy them......As for this baby girl, she'll stay a OOAK (one of a kind)......I'll be making more babies soon....and baby chimps.....Stay tuned.....its gonna get Gooooooooooooood..........

Annual Helium Sucking..............

Just sharing some really fun pics of the kids this past week....
Tim & Ashley are the little lovebirds....(does anyone remember what
that feels like, lol.....) I was losing daylight fast, so if they appear grainy, just get over it. But you remember, c'mon...the belly butterflys,
your heart on Cloud 10....thats above Cloud 9, right?
Ahhh....to be young and in love......

I'm always a sucker for B&W shots with a splash of color....
Brings out such interesting visual direction.....

Then to ice the cake, literally speaking....Laurens Sweet "16" was on Monday....holy crap. This means that Mommas gett'n old....because
I share a birthday 3 days later, and for scientific reasons beyond my understanding, I continue to age while my children age....WTHeck?
Wheres Ponce De'Leon and the Fountain of Youth, when you need him?
Pfffftt....men. DONT get me started on that one....

I have to say, that my kids really went the xtra mile for my birthday....
They made it really special....Plus, they were smart about it...
They decided to get TWO candles, a 3 & a 9, instead of all 39 candles....
For safety issues I'm sure....I enjoy playing with fire, but not on my birthday. I must restrain.....and be a good example to my children.

Speaking of good examples, the Annual Helium Balloon Sucking came off great!!!!!
....And...and...are you ready? I got Silly Stringed!
Pink, in fact....when I least expected it....Man, does silly string smell baaaaad..........
I've come to the conclusion that Helium is MUCH safer than the smell of Silly String, I'm sure you'd agree......smelling those intoxicating fumes as it dangles off your hair cannot be safe!

As for child # 3......Miss Haleigh Girl. :(
Oh boy....we're going on DAY 10 of the FLU. I'm taking her to the doctor today, to check for that crap they call Swine....

I'm seriously contemplating wrapping myself head to toe, in Saran Wrap, for protection. A girl cant be too careful out there.....
The hardest decision, is with clothes, or without.....
Damn, I hate big life decisions.....Don't you?

Bead Porn

Oh. Wow.
You MUST see all the new BeadPorn....that's all I'm going to say about that.

Click on the bead.

You know what to do.

Shoo Fly, Dont bother me..............

Ya know....there are some things I make, and I'm like...yah, ok, cute.
This one? Oh gawd, this one cracks me UP. Shoo fly, dont bother me...
I mean, how can you go wrong with this piece?
You get 2 flys and 1 piece of poo.

You know, Poo-poo, Number 2, Shit, Chit, Dingleberry, Butt flakes,
Butt goblin, Big ol' Texan, BM, Bowel Movement, Brownies, Butt Nuggets, Doody, Dookie, Dump, Droppings, Feces, Poopy Pie, Pooplets, Returds, Shiza, Splasher, CaCa....

Oh lord, I digress. Ever get hung up on a word and you cant let go?
I have no excuses...Im just gross I guess.
I mean WHO on earth would even think of a fly & poop necklace?

Oh c'mon, you know your laughing....it IS funny.
So if your looking for that something special for Christmas, you know the type....the person you have to buy for, out of sheer obligation, but that person has everything type of person? You know WHO you are.

This is for you.

Neck Art......

Ooooooo, is this just freegan kewl or WHAT?
I had soo much fun making this piece...(altho, I cannot take credit for the design itself -thankyou goes to Kerry Bogert).........

But Lauren wore this necklace to school today and everyone wanted one.
The neat part about this design is you can wear it ANY size you want. The green lampwork bead, makes the whole thing slide, so you simply put it over your head and slide the green bead, and well....Voila! The perfect necklace!!
I made all these beads a few nights ago, & I'm always looking for ideas on ways to put my beads together, then give up and sell them on JustBeads.

But these? These puppies begged me to weave them into something grand....something great, so they could scream, "Look at ME!"....

Ok, ok. So they didnt scream, they spoke softly.
Either way, they spoke & I listened.
Communication is how relationships stay together anyhow....
Are we talking about beads or men? Sheesh....I'm definately losing
my touch on reality.

But I'm ok with that, I really am.

Color makes me Happy........

There is nothing like a cool, crisp Fall Day, I get to light up my hot torch and play with rainbows. I mean, who am I to complain about that?
But who am I kidding, there's always room to complain! Lol....
But back to color....
If you think about it, color dominates our lives. Red can make you feel tense, whereas blue can calm your mood down. Its true.

Color is a HUGE part of every day life.
Its how we know when to STOP at the RED light, GO at GREEN
all the way down to the color of our food, right?
I mean, its deeper than people really think about.
Would you eat a Blue watermelon? Orange corn? Purple apples?

I guess you would if that's how the color was presented to you in the 1st place....but color rides deep into your soul.
Some relate to color as your "Chakra.."
(i.e. green = the heart, yellow is the solar plexus or the organs below the rib cage (endocrine, stomach, liver spleen...) and so on. Even red is determined to increase your appetite and used in some restaurants, etc.)

Oh gawd, I didn't mean to make this soo complex, lol, but did you learn something new? Color therapy dates back to the Ancient Egyptians...
there was a spiritual reason that the grass was green and the sky was blue.

Then today's big wigs come in and talk about how refraction and subtraction and whateveraction...how the eye interprets light, etc.

I mean, seriously. Couldn't we have just left the whole theory alone and speculate as to why tomatoes turn red when their ready to eat, or why every things soo green in the summer? Glorious colors erupt in the Autumn....because Mother Nature says so? That's good enough for me.
I dont need to know the chemical theory behind lycopene for my red tomatoes. Umm, when they are bursting red and full of flavor, they are simply ready to eat right? Pass the salt please.

Speaking of red ripe tomatoes...I tried one of those TopsyTurvy upside down tomater plants this summer. And I have a pretty green thumb.

Umm, nope. Didn't work. I didn't get ONE tomato off that plant, I was soo ticked off. I even contemplated stealing one of my neighbors vine tomatoes, but figured that would screw up my Chakra somewhere and Lord have mercy, I don't wanna do that.

And who on earth made up the word GREEN THUMB?

My thumb is not really green, but when I grow great plants, I'm considered to have a green thumb? See?? Now that's one of those things, that Chemists can NOT decipher or take apart and find some chemical reason, my green thumb was not working this summer and my tomatoes never turned red.

See? See how color is such a big part of your life?
Color is a HUGE part of my life. Not only the day to day stuff, but
I get to PLAY with every color of the rainbow. I get to melt color after color of glass and make my OWN rainbows.

Chakra THAT!